11 Old-fashioned Relationship Habits We Should Bring Back

1. Spend quality time together with no major
agenda and no technology.
Put down the smart phone, close the laptop and
enjoy each other’s company, face to face, the old
fashioned way.
There are few joys in life that equal a good
conversation, a genuine laugh, a long walk, a
friendly dance, or a big hug shared by two people
who care about each other. Sometimes the most
ordinary things can be made extraordinary just by
doing them with the right people. So choose to
be around these people, and choose to make the
most of your time together.
Don’t wait to make big plans. Make your time
together the plan. Communicate openly on a
regular basis. Get together in the flesh as often
as possible. Not because it’s convenient to do so,
but because you know each other are worth the
extra effort.
2. Be fully present when you’re in the presence of
others.
One of the best feelings in the world is knowing
your presence and absence both mean something
to someone. And the only way to let your loved
ones know this, is to show them when you’re
with them.
In your relationships and interactions with others,
nothing you can give is more appreciated than
your sincere, focused attention – your full
presence. Being with someone, listening without a
clock and without anticipation of the next event is
the ultimate compliment. It is indeed the most
valued gesture you can make to another human
being.
Your friends and family are too beautiful to
ignore. So give them the gift of YOU – your time,
undivided attention and kindness. That’s better
than any other gift, it won’t break or get lost, and
will always be remembered.
3. Express your sincere appreciation for loved
ones every chance you get.
No matter how sure you are of someone’s
appreciation and admiration, it’s always nice to
be reminded of it. So if you appreciate someone
today, tell them. Just because they are reliable
and there when you need them, doesn’t mean you
should fail to give thanks and appreciation on a
regular basis. To value someone too lightly is to
risk missing the depth of their goodness before
they’re gone.
Sadly, it is often only when we are tragically
reminded of how short life is – that today could
easily be our last with someone we love – that
we start to appreciate every day we have
together as if it were. Let this lesson sink in now.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell the people you
love how much you appreciate them.
4. Work together and help each other grow.
There is no soul mate or best friend out there
who will solve all your problems. There is no love
at first sight that lasts without work and
commitment. But there are, however, people out
there worth fighting for. Not because they’re
perfect, but because they’re imperfect in all the
ways that are right for you. You compliment each
other’s flaws in a way that allows your souls to
unite and operate more efficiently as one.
You will know when you meet one of these
people, when through them you meet the very
best in yourself.
5. Focus on inner beauty.
When you get to really know someone, most of
their prominent physical characteristics vanish in
your mind. You begin to dwell in their energy,
recognize their scent, and appreciate their wit.
You see only the essence of the person, not the
shell.
That’s why you can’t fall in love with physical
beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it,
or want to own it. You can love it with your eyes
and your body for a little while, but not your heart
in the long-term. Thus, when you really connect
with a person’s inner self, most physical
imperfections become irrelevant.
6. Tell the truth.
Too many prefer gentle lies to hard truths. But
make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt
by the truth than comforted by a lie.
Relationships based on lies always die young.
Lying is a cumulative process too. So be careful.
What starts as a small, seemingly innocent lie
(possibly even with the intention of not hurting
anyone) quickly spirals into an mounting false
reality where the biggest factor preventing you
from sharing the truth is the unwanted reputation
of being known as a liar. We lie to one another,
but even more so we lie to ourselves most often
to protect our “oh so fragile” ego. We may even
be inclined to lie to ourselves while reading this,
not wanting to admit how often we have eluded
the truth.
7. Apologize when you know you should.
Take personal responsibility for your wrong
doings. If you know your actions or words have
hurt someone you care about, immediately admit
your faults and face the reality of your actions.
An apology is the super glue of lasting
relationships.
And make sure your apology is sincere too. Say it
and mean it. Don’t bother apologizing if you’re
just going to continue doing the things you said
sorry for. Never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Excuses are NOT apologies.
8. Work out your relationship issues with each
other, not with others.
This may seem obvious, but these days it’s worth
mentioning: NEVER post negatively about a loved
one on social media. Fourteen-year-old school
kids post negatively about their boyfriends,
girlfriends and friends on social media. It’s a
catty way to get attention and vent, when the
emotionally healthy response is to talk your
grievances over with them directly when the time
is right.
Don’t fall into the trap of getting others on your
side, because healthy relationships only have one
side.
Furthermore, relationships don’t always make
sense, especially from the outside. So don’t let
outsiders run your relationships for you. If you’re
having a relationship issue with someone, work it
out with THEM and no one else.
9. Be a force for positivity and encouragement.
Elevate your inner game. A negative attitude is
way below your horizon.
Our way of thinking creates good or bad
outcomes. It makes a big difference in your life
and the lives around you when you stay positive.
So be fanatically positive and militantly
optimistic. If something is not to your liking,
change your liking and carry on with smile.
Always turn a negative situation into a positive
lesson and move forward.
Encourage the best possible results with your
thoughts and words. And teach this philosophy to
those around you too.
10. Over-deliver on your promises.
Be committed. Commitment means staying
devoted and keeping your promises, long after the
time and mood you made the promises in has left
you. Doing so is vital to your relationships and
long-term success in every imaginable walk of
life.
So don’t just say it, show it. Don’t just promise
it, prove it. Better yet, over-deliver on all your
promises. Supply far more than what’s required.
As Anne Frank once said, “No one has ever
become poor by giving.” Whenever you can, go
out of your way and do something nice and
unexpected for the people in your life, especially
those who are in no position to repay you
anytime soon.
11. Be loyal.
Stand by those you care about in their darkest
moments, not because you want to stand in the
dark, but because you don’t want them to either.
Brave the shadows alongside them until they’re
able to find the light. On the flipside, stand by
these same people on their sunniest days, not
because you want to scorch your skin, but
because you’re not afraid to let them shine
bright.
In other words, be loyal. Remaining faithful in
your relationships is never an option, but a
priority. Loyalty means the world to the people
who love you. When someone believes in you
enough to lift you up, try not to let them down.
You can’t promise to be there for someone for the
rest of their life, but you can sincerely be there for
them for the rest of yours.